And Guile Ruled

 There is a feeling I get when I know something is wrong. It starts in my lower abdomen and seeps up into my chest region not caring to stop at my heart but rather wishing to proceed down my arms and into my ears. Its numbness slowing my breathe and allowing my face to wash void of emotion. When my body is in this state I feel as if something inside of me is stretching upward to the sky listening for whispers, signs and love from my Heavenly Father. What is wrong here... did I do this to myself? Stop being so dramatic Aimee and calm down Marshal didn't mean it... any of it. If you were more Respectful and kind as a wife than you would save yourself the heartache of fighting and Marshal would be able to control himself better. It really wasn't that bad ya know? This time he had backed me into the corner again, holding me there while tears streamed down my face and he kept screaming for me to look at him. What was my deal? Why aren't you opening your eyes Aimee? It will make it all go away, he will calm down... but first you will have to see the unadulterated hate which somehow found its way onto his face. "please don't, Marshal back up your scarring me, I hate...." I was going to say 'I hate when you put me in a corner' but of course he did not let me finish. He raised his fist to eye level cocked back and ready to strike while at the same time grabbing my face and shaking it uncontrollably. "You hate me??? YOU HATE ME???" He managed to lower his voice and step in closer against my body. "I could kill you right here and right now and NO ONE would ever find out it was me. I have killed more people than you can imagine it would be easy....LOOK AT ME!!!" I finally looked. "Than do it, kill me." I said it with a tone of stability. Trying to challenge his threat. It was not the first time those thoughts and words had crossed his lips and I was growing tired of his rage. Dying would really be better than living with Marshal for eternity. I did not want to die but by the look in his eyes he meant it and I knew that with all his Army knowledge he was capable of it. 
The morning of October 9th I woke up and was acutely aware of my fiance being only one floor down from me. Today was the day we were planning on getting our marriage license and run a few other errands in preparation for our wedding in three days :) I made Marshal one of his favorites a BLT sandwich with extra bacon and as I cleaned up after lunch a knock rang through the house. we weren't expecting anybody this early in the morning but even so I went to answer the door. Three U.S. Marshal's stood before me and my heart dropped to the floor. "Is Marshal Anthony here" one of them asked. "Yeah, let me get him." I felt like screaming for him to run, to grab him and never let go, and I overcame all  of those and calmly walked downstairs to him and let him know the police where there for him. Looking back I really should have been panicked but I was too shocked to really freak out at the situation. When I got him he seemed surprised that they were here but stayed really calm when they read him his rights and hand cuffed him. My shock finally over came me and I just cried. Marshal was demanding it was a mistake and kept saying "I'm an Army Ranger! I just came out to get married, I didn't do anything wrong." My father about went to jail himself with trying to stand up for Marshal and by the time Marshal was in the police car most of my neighbors where aware of the commotion even if they weren't physically standing outside there homes watching. I was Mortified and numb from watching my future husband get arrested. I tried to listen to my father frantically call military personal after military personal trying to figure out what had happened and why our wedding was being up rooted but after a while I made my way down to his room to be alone. Marshals computer was on his bed and I tried to get on to find something that would help me but nothing came to my attention and I shut it. Looking around the room again I decided that I would do a load of laundry for him and pack up his stuff. While I folded his clean clothes I listened to the parable of the current bush. Over and over again I listened to the story of the man who was cut down so that he could grow the way that the Lord intended for him to and peace was brought to my heart. I knew that everything was going to be okay, that there was a plan even if I wasn't sure how it was going to work out I trusted in my Lord. I felt his strength overcome my weak body and I let that thought relax me. I finished cleaning up his things and than decided that I would fast a short time to keep the spirit with me. That evening was my interview with the stake president and I was determined to still get my Temple recommend and to attend the temple frequently with or without a spouse. Before I went to the stake center I went on a short walk and part way through laid down on the cement and looked up to the sky thinking of my Heavenly Father and letting him know that I needed him to comfort me. I opened my heart in prayer and gushed about the days events and I could feel him listening to me, never interrupting. His arms wrapped around me and I felt his love and adoration for his daughter and I felt secure and strengthened.