Anthony VS Anthony

I just realized that I never did a post in August and that was the month that our marriage (if you can call it that) was Annulled. I remember the moment I found out so vividly. I was just exiting a sealing session for two awesome friends of mine from high school in the draper temple. While waiting for the bride and groom to come out I turned my phone on to see if I had any missed calls... I did!!!! My lawyers had called during the sealing to announce that I was completely free from the man that had almost taken my life. I couldn't breathe, tears of joy streamed down my face and all I could say was "oh my goodness" and "Its over!" I had to sit down I almost fainted in the temple lobby. The people I found out in front of where a group of tight nit old high school friends who I had recently come in better contact with. I love that I had people around me who knew who I was, knew what this meant to me. The circumstances where set up by the Lord I just know it. I was ending my eternal marriage just as a couple was starting theirs. I love how the Lord knows us so perfectly that he blesses our lives in the most perfect of ways.
I cannot say that I am completely happy with my choices immediately following finding out that I was a free, single woman again.... but it had been 5 months sense I had kissed anyone... If I could go back I would not date that friend of mine for the week before I moved to Boston. I would spend more of that time with my family members and best friends! I would have treated myself to dinner and a movie instead of asking it of him. I learned so much from the experience of dating someone for literally less than a week that I am grateful for but I also ended up losing a friendship that I could have kept had I not dated that person. Sense dating him I have no desire to ever talk to him again and that is not just due to the fact that the last words he spoke to me a side from a hug and saying goodbye was "Don't forget to delete my number." I can really pick um that is for sure. That is also why I am not dating presently. I will not put my failed marriage on a man until I have completely come to terms and grieved in my own way. I will not go on dates until I feel sure that I am steady on my own two feet and able to express what happened to me in past tense.
"You is kind, you is smart, you is important." -The Help
Being in Boston I feel like a different person. The self doubt, self talk, and put downs toward my self have STOPPED!! I do not know how I lived with a smile on my face before knowing how much I was hurting myself. I am a beautiful Daughter of God and he loves me. When we put ourselves down we are putting Him down and he is perfect and our creator so we should really not do that. yeah? Jesus suffered our sins on the cross so that we could LIVE! So everyone out there just spread a little joy within your head and do your happiness some good this holiday season ( and everyday from now too.)
My brother Cameron ( who is single, by the way ;)) had this recent insight and I want to share
"If what we are experiencing here on this earth was not important, then Jesus would not have suffered our sins on the cross. He took our pain upon himself because our life experiences are valuable." Now lets just rephrase that last part. "He took our pain upon himself because our LIFE is valuable." Your life has value!! Everyone please remember that this holiday season as winter can be more than a little depressing without loved ones and the knowledge that our Savior Christ was born this month:)
Thank you anyone and everyone who reads this! I am more than blessed to be able to share my experiences and am happy when it can touch the lives of others. Merry Christmas!! ( Just in case life does what it's best at and gets busier)